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Type of bind: Paperback
EAN num: 9781602640436
ISBN number: 1602640432
Label: Virtualbookworm.com Publishing
Manufacturer: Virtualbookworm.com Publishing
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 280
Printing Date: August 01, 2007
Publishing house: Virtualbookworm.com Publishing
Sale Popularity Level: 29048
Studio: Virtualbookworm.com Publishing
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Product Description:
Idjit Galoot has a problem. He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. 'Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed' is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er do well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves. Along the way, Idjit's owner encounters Christian terrorists, swamp-dwelling taxidermists, carnies, a b-list poopie-groupie, bluesmen on the run from a trickster deity, and the Florida Skunk Ape.
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Rated by buyers 
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If you're looking for something to read that could potentially be fatal, then read this book! I laughed so hard I choked at one point. It reads like the love-child of Christopher Moore and Tim Dorsey. Each situation the main character gets in on his journey to recover his runaway dog, Idjit Galoot, is more unbelievable than the last. You'll read faster just to see what happens to him next. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and have already passed it on to everyone I know. Write some more, Carbuncle!
Rated by buyers -
When I saw that a GoodReads friend had written a book with the unlikely title of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed, I just had to learn more about the book AND the author. I was hooked simply from reading the author's short biography, and knew if anyone could pull off a book like this, Lance Carbuncle could. He reminds me a lot of Kurt Vonnegut with a touch of Tim Dorsey tossed in...but with his own distinctive voice.
Have you ever felt like the world has chewed you up and spit you out? Silly question, because everyone has days like that, I'm sure. Well, it was just one of those days when I decided to read this book.
And thus I embarked on a Fun House adventure that was like a cross between the movie "Dumb and Dumber" and the TV show "Twin Peaks." What a riot!
This bumbling, off-beat character Carbuncle has created goes from one genuinely ridiculous situation to another, so be sure you're seated (or lying down) when reading this book; if not, you might fall over with laughter. I would have ROTFLMAO if I could have, but I didn't want any fractured bones, so I made certain I was in a position to double over and hold my sides instead....hehehe...
If you're into the bizarre, like dark, twisted humour and pop-culture references, you must embark on this zany road trip from Ohio to Florida with Carbuncle's very realistic character, a thirty-five-year-old unemployable, mentally imbalanced metal-head who lives in his mother's basement.
The story in a nutshell: Our hero's mother sends him ahead to scout out new living quarters in Florida, and that's when the hilarity begins. Our anti-hero takes along his equally brain-dead cousin Denny, and they meet a cast of misfits along the way who are even weirder than them ... well, almost....His true love is an old Basset hound named Idjit Galoot; mayhem ensues when he learns the dog has run away. The dream sequences when not only Idjit but his dear, dead Daddy visit him with life-saving advice are among the funniest in the book.
Does our hero ever make it to Florida? Does he find Idjit? How does his long-deceased father's corpse get in the van? What happens when the police discover the body? And how does he end up with Bruce Dickinson's poo?
I told you it's twisted, folks...but with such lovable, insane characters, you'll treasure every dark mile spent adventuring with them!
With all reverence, one reviewer called it "humorously disgusting," so if you object to words like poop and vomit, don't read this book, but if you can handle that, I promise you the road trip of your life.
Highly recommended to anyone who needs a good, twisted, dark kind of laugh, which is just about everyone nowadays!
Reviewed by Betty Dravis, November 2008
author of "Millennium Babe: The Prophecy"
Rated by buyers 
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"Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed is a drunken, psychedelic joyride for those of us with a really warped sense of humour"BCM
As an unmarried, 35 year old man who lives in his mother's basement, you'd think he has enough problems already. The added bonus of being unemployed, single and a having a medical condition that causes blackouts, is definitely the icing on the proverbial `crap-chute cake'.
Then the poor man's basset hound Idjit Galoot runs off just before he and his mother move to Florida.
As he makes his way to Florida with his cousin Denny in the moving truck and then back again to his home town to rescue his dog, he makes friends with many `off the wall' people and gets himself into crazy-ass situations.
During this time he also has strange dreams about...
**Please follow the link to read the rest of my review for 'Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed' http://bookreviewsbybobbie.wordpress.com/2008/10/17/book-review-of-smashed-squashed-splattered-chewed-chunked-and-spewed/
Rated by buyers -
Idjit Galoot is the spirit guide on this outrageous road trip. When mom decides to move to Florida, Idjit's unemployed and troubled owner is sent on ahead with his equally unemployed cousin in the moving truck. When Idjit is left behind, he must warn and advise his owner through dreams. As the trip progresses events become increasing bizarre, grotesque and funny. Daddy, though deceased, preserved and decorated still manages a role in this dark journey.
Rated by buyers -
Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is the most surreal, humorously disgusting book I have read this year, and that's saying a lot since I read about a lot of government conspiracies. Carbuncle does such a good job with the oddly fascinating South of the Border that by the middle of the book I was aching to be a Pablo. It was riveting, like Twin Peaks with a lot of extra bodily fluids and bad smells. The cast of misfits in this book will stay in my mind for years to come and I would love to try to see someone make a movie out of this story. I learned a lot of disturbing facts from the footnotes and can hardly wait to share them at the subsequent cocktail party when I need to clear the room. I wanted to get a dog this year, and after reading this book I realize for the love of Idjit, I need one. It was refreshing to read something so politically incorrect, and I eagerly anticipate the subsequent Carbuncle book. A-yowww.
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