Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
Format: Bargain Price
Label: John Gray's Mars Venus LLC
Manufacturer: John Gray's Mars Venus LLC
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 224
Printing Date: December 16, 1993
Publishing house: John Gray's Mars Venus LLC
Sale Popularity Level: 1146021
Studio: John Gray's Mars Venus LLC
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Editor's Notes and Comments:
Product Description:
This guide discusses the idea of finding feelings that have been lost, and regaining the respect and love for yourself that is a necessary pre-requisite to giving and receiving love from others, in sexual and other relationships.
User popularity level:
Rated by buyers 
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I believe this is one of John Gray's very first books. It will show you how to heal your past, so you can live life again. He uses the simplest and most entertaining of terms for anyone to enjoy this process.
Everyone should read this book!
Merna Throne
Pocket of Pearls: A 30-day pocket workbook to start hearing a softer voice inside of you!
Rated by buyers 
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"The major cause of human dissatisfaction and frustration is the absence of love." ~ pg. 2
"What You Feel You Can Heal" is an uncomplicated guide to emotions we all experience. John Gray encourages the reader to express their negative emotions in order to create an environment in which love can flourish and grow. The main premise is that repressed emotions block the flow of love.
Each page is illustrated with an amusing cartoon, which makes this book a quick read. In a matter of hours you can learn a few useful techniques that allow you to feel more positive about life.
John Gray encourages the idea of writing love letters although I still think the section of the letter with all the negative issues (I hate...) might be a bad idea. There is also a strange section on "duplication" where you repeat what someone says in order to become more empathetic. I found the following to be very true:
"The people who make you the most angry are the people you care about the most." ~ pg. 2
~The Rebecca Review
Rated by buyers 
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This is a fun pop-psych book with some valuable insights, techniques for releasing negative feelings in relationships, & 100 author-drawn illustrative cartoons. It's a very fast read. His basic premise is that TACT ="Telling the Absolute Complete Truth" will free you from negative emotions. If you repress them instead, you experience "The See Saw Effect--When we push down a feeling, it comes up in our partner." This is an interesting take on projection & repression. The 3 methods to deal with these emotions are:
--Duplication: commonly known as mirroring-repeating what your partner says, ~active listening & role playing
--Anger Process--talking to yourself as if you were another person--calling yourself "you" in a mirror & expressing: 1. anger/blame--, 2. what you want, 3. positive/loving/supportive statements.
--Love Letter Technique--writing letters containing: 1. anger/blame, 2. hurt/sadness, 3. fear/insecurity, 4. guilt/responsibility, 5. love/forgiveness/understanding/desire & reading them to each other.
I think these are valuable in clearing out negative emotions in relationships, but there are assumptions affecting their applicability. Gray assumes love & goodness are underneath surface problems--clearing out anger etc. will reveal this. He is not addressing M. Scott Peck's "People of the Lie." Indeed, I think he's addressing people neither too undeveloped or too advanced. For example, Tibetan Buddhism has techniques to advantageously transforming emotions & Freud addressed sublimation. See Thubten Chodron's "Working with Anger" or Pema Chodron's works (e.g. "No Time to Lose"). Gray aims at couples/pairs not separate individuals. He assumes they have strong emotions needing expression--more extroverted than introverted--but employing his methods may expose hidden neuroses & complexes. Thus, his techniques are valuable at the Level of Abstraction he's addressing herein.
He also provides some valuable insights worth repeating:
"Many people confuse submission with love...A sure-fire way to kill the love in a relationship is to sacrifice your wants & needs in order to be loved by someone else. When you stop caring about yourself & your needs, there are no longer 2 people in the relationship. It's hard to be interested in nobody."
"When your heart is filled with love, life is like a big vacation" = Western Nirvana?
Of the cartoons, my favorite shows fishing for compliments from the love boat. Hilarious!
IMHO it's useful to realize that, like your thoughts, you have feelings, but you aren't your feelings.
Rated by buyers -
This book is so easy to understand, in a humorous way, the intricacies of our emotions. It is hilariously entertaining with cartoons drawn by the author. John Gray, in a playful yet insightful way, shows us all the different styles in which we repress our emotions and act in ways that are not straightforward. It also shows how we keep love from ourselves. I have used this book in my parenting work for many years as a map to emotional fluency for family health. It has been delightfully received as a work of art with some real tools on the road to emotional healing!! Thank you, John Gray!!
Rated by buyers -
This book is very helpful in understanding yourself and your partner. It is a very easy read and could be mistaken as too "simple" - but the beauty of this book is that it has taken some of the most complex feelings and reduced it to bite size ideas and adorable cartoons. I am a highly educated person and thought the cartoons were brilliant (BS, MS, JD) - some reviewers did not like them? Read this book more than once and learn a lot about relationships. I am really hoping to (educationally smart - relationship dummy).
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